Major police effort solves hate-hoax haaaachuuu!

Posted On: Wednesday - March 6th 2019 7:37PM MST
In Topics: 
  Humor  Cars  Race/Genetics

Suspects detained in hate-hoax sting:

(Image shamelessly downloaded off Breitbart.)

DATELINE: Lamar, SC (Darlington County), HateDate: 03:04:19

Per this amusing story of stupidity, South Carolina Mayor Charges Racism After Car Defaced, Then Police Find the Facts, this worrisome case of hatred against Mayor Darnell Byrd McPherson, mayor of the northeastern South Carolina metropolis of Lamar, SC has been solved. Between the horrific but untrue hate-case involving Jussie Smollett and his Nigerian accomplices, and many other terrible, but debunked, cases that have been building up in the public, uhh, $PLC's consciousness, race relations look pretty grim indeed. In this latest near-crime in rural South Carolina:
Darnell Byrd McPherson, mayor of Lamar, South Carolina, quickly assumed she had been the victim of a hate crime after finding a yellow “sticky substance” painted over her and her husband’s cars recently, according to Newsweek.

McPherson told the media that the substance “got in all of the grooves” of the autos that were sitting outside the couple’s home.
"All in the grooves", man that's low! It gets worse:
My husband went out to the car to get some things out of the garage,” the mayor told Newsweek. “He says, ‘Somebody’s painted your car!’”

McPherson added that a neighbor also alerted her to the substance.

The incident caused her to assume she had been a victim of a hate crime.

“I likened it as a hate crime because No. 1, there’s a history in our town of Lamar,” the Lamar mayor said.

McPherson harkened back over 40 years when she claims that “burning crosses” were commonly seen in the area.
They may or may not have been completely cross-shaped, though some racists say that it was just "lots of all-night pig barbecues being held near the time of the drag races." A likely story, right? I mean, who eats barbecue in S. Carolina, especially that vinegar-based stuff?

Luckily, the LPD (Lamar Police Dude), actually the Darlington County Sheriff's Deputy, Robby Kilgo, broke the case later in the hour:
“We found it to be pollen. There was no reason for us to collect a sample.”
What? Who'd have known about those Oak trees in South Carolina? The thing must have growed up like some a weed, and dropped that pollen in the middle of the night, just like those racist Federally-funded KKK bastards used to do with that enamel spray paint back in the day that time the Reverend was talkin' bout. Really though, that yellow pollen is hellacious in the South at this time of year.

This case may have been overblown, but there's a long history, you white people, you - This is the same kind of … achoooo…. same damn …. achooooo! Geeze!… sniff… shit that they …. waaaachooooiey! …. hand me that roll of toilet paper …. shit that they …. uhhh, uhhhhhh … pulled on that Emmett Ti ... chooooo … ill!

I guess Lamar is too small to have a car wash, but how about Darlington? I’ve seen cars turn so yellow-green this time of year that you really can’t tell what color they are supposed to be. Of course, if you’re not a sell-out to whitey, you’d have a bright enough purple, green, or orange car to where the color shines through. Clear-coat, baby!

Hate-free automobile. Just try painting over this color, you raciss Oaks!:

Is it really a black/white thing, or just a problem of underprivileged Lamar, South Carolina being a self-serve car-wash desert?

PS: I will admit I first got wind of this story from Mr. Steve Sailer, in his post The Yellow Peril of Hate Stalks South Carolina, with good humorous comments as usual.

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