Sexual Stupidity and Naked Massages

Posted On: Saturday - February 23rd 2019 9:41AM MST
In Topics: 
  Humor  Feminism  Female Stupidity

Massager / massagee, respectively:

From, we read about the son of one of the scions, if I may, of Female Stupidity, who embarrassed his Mom in an event that I would call an inevitability, rather than any stupidity, per se. The stupidity is in the ridiculousness of the CEO (really?), one Lisa Borders, of "Times Up" to begin with, along with anyone thinking that this type of massage therapy is strickly bidness!

In reading Times Up CEO Resigns After Son Embroiled In Sexual Misconduct Scandal, we first would like to know what the hell this "Times Up" place is. Just from the context (I felt dirty just looking it up), and now a quick glance at a NY post article on the same story, we learn that Times Up is an organization that purports to fight for women to speak out about their sexual harassment experiences, fun or otherwise. Oh, they have $22 million bucks to travel around, furnish the offices and live off of do this with. Nice work, if you can get it, but ...

... well, you can't have people hearing about your son inappropriately touching a naked massagee with his fingers and other parts in the wrong positions for a good and proper massage per the massage-guild procedures and protocols. Let's see, per zerohedge, Mr. Garry Dijon* Bowden, on the left above, son of the important CEO Lisa Borders, was invited to Miss (I sure hope it's "Miss") Celia Gellert's, on the right above, home to have a "healing session". Hahaaa, healing session indeed - I need to remember that line. Oh, Mr. Garry Mustard Bowden, Jr. is no simple ordinary healer - he is a LIFE COACH too, and a photographer.

Miss Gellert figured that that's just what you do, I guess, invite a guy over get naked, and get healed and coached. Sometimes that involves erect penises and massaging of the genitals, but I guess that was not made clear. "When I was told to lay on the table naked, I was of the understanding that there would be no erections...." I don't know, readers, I think if I were Mr. Dijon, I would not have been able to help myself either, and there would be some mustard or other condiment in places that seem to really need them. Per the NY Post article, we read "'It was not healing. It was disgusting,' said Gellert, a yoga teacher**." Listen, Miss Gellert, you can ignore the facts - you may not care about the birds and the bees, but the birds and the bees care about you! Or, something like that. I just wish I was good enough to get a girl to let me come over to perform a naked massage to begin with. Maybe I need a life coach for that.

With all respect for Mr. Bowden in this story explained, the ex-CEO Mom makes me wonder now. She is not much of a looker (though 61 and with hair almost as short as her son) in the ZH picture, but also a big supporter of the women's NBA. Do women basketball players get sexually harassed? I mean, by men? I seriously doubt that happens. What kind of life "coaching" does the Mom do involving the basketball women, and does she even care about men? Times Up is supposed to be a follow-up to Pound-Me-Too. They probably should get a CEO who actually has a chance of that happening.

OK, well, please go to the Zerohedge comments for some great humor - you now have to click the [Show 275*** Comments] button at the bottom now, but it's well worth the 2 hours to read through them. Enjoy!

*. No, he was not an heir to the Dijon mustard fortune, or he'd have been able to hire higher-class hookers errr, massagees.

** A yoga teacher! Man, if I were single, I'd be seeking out life coaches right now - are they on Craiglist? "Yoga teacher" - yes the story all hinges on that, pretty much.

*** 275 was the number as of the last time I pulled up the page.

Sunday - February 24th 2019 10:11AM MST
PS: Without some training to be a "life coach", BC, I'm not really sure I can be of much help in these, errr, this area. Good luck on Saturday!

Thanks for the funny comment too. News you can use, indeed. I read some more ZH comments and ran across a guy promoting Peak Stupidity ... OK, not this web site, per se, but he used the phrase. Spread the word.
Saturday - February 23rd 2019 4:56PM MST
PS: I particularly liked the allegation by Miss Gellert that the yellow bastard "jiggled her buttocks and blew air on her private area." See, this is one of the reasons I read this blog--you can't buy information like that. This is news we can use and we get it here for free. We could use a Part II on this one, please. I would like to dive more deeply into this thing about blowing air on private areas, specifically about exactly what areas, and the air-blowing techniques that are most efficacious. Is this what is known as the French mustard gambit and is it peculiar to yoga acolytes or is it universally applicable?
(It would be helpful if I could have this information before next Saturday.)
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