Don't ask me no questions ...

Posted On: Thursday - February 14th 2019 7:34PM MST
In Topics: 
  Music  Humor  US Feral Government  Southern rock  Educational Stupidity  Taxes

... and I won't tell you no lies.

Possibly very obviously, the previous post on taxes came out of thoughts generated during my perusal of the forms, due it being that time of the year. It's not like I spend a big deal of worry on this business. One does what one can during the year, if there's anything that can help lower the bill, but otherwise it pretty much is what it is. In my case, it's been fairly simple for a while, and I was in a habit of doing the work at a bar near me during half-time of the Superbowl, back when I was a little bit more into the Bread and Circuses. Yeah, I rounded off numbers to the nearest 10 bucks, then later $100 bucks, I did the arithmetic on a couple of cocktail napkins, and sent the thing off. Like I told the IRS, it is what it is. "No respect, no respect, I tell ya..." is my mutual relationship with the IRS.

The other run-ins with US Feral Government officials are pretty much the decadal censuses that are stipulated in the US Constitution. I can't argue with:
The actual Enumeration shall be made within three Years after the first Meeting of the Congress of the United States, and within every subsequent Term of ten Years, in such Manner as they shall by Law direct.
To "enumerate" is defined as "vb 1 : to determine the number of : count 2 : list". I'm fine with that, as you're gonna need that for representative, cough, yeah right, cough cough, government. However "in such Manner as they shall direct by law" clearly means to allow for different methods of counting. It says nothing about more question on how many toilets we've got working in the place, heating via electricity or gas, or anything else. I have never filled out any such "long form", only a short form. However, I recall a couple of times, long ago, in which a man came by in person and asked a few questions. "One guy and one cat" was all I was required to give him, and that's what I gave him, and the cat was cool and he never said a mumblin' word.

This form-fill-outing is something I have just about had enough of, even if it's not for the Feral Government. A while back, the elementary school's registration form was on-line. There was no other option. OK, that's supposed to save the freakin' planet, so, yeah, let's see how that goes. Well, readers, the damn thing was 1/2 hour long, with a whole lot of questions that were none of the school's business. I'd have been glad to have put that "NOYB" or just a nice "N/A" down, but the forms would permit neither those nor blanks for the answers. I was FORCED to make up numbers and other answers.

I could very well see someone from the school district at some time in the future using my "lies" to try to embarrass me or get me in trouble. It's too bad that I did have to make up stuff, but then their website-builders ought to have let me skip the questions, or just quit asking stuff that you don't need to know about.

Lynyrd Skynyrd put it best, in the great Southern Rock guitar classic off of Second Helping back in 1974:

Don't ask me no questions, and I won't tell you no lies!

"So, don't ask me no questions
And I won't tell you no lies
So, don't ask me about my business
And I won't tell you goodbye."

For some reason, I'd always thought this song was a cover of some old-time country song, but nope. It was written by Ronnie Van Zant and Gary Rossington.

Ronnie Van Zant - lead vocals
Gary Rossington - guitar
Allen Collins - guitar
Ed King - bass, slide guitar
Billy Powell - keyboards
Bob Burns - drums and percussion

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