12-step programs for all our problems

Posted On: Thursday - February 7th 2019 4:36PM MST
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Alcoholics Anonymous was one of the first, I'm guessing, to present this long series of steps to enable one to climb out of the pit that addiction can be. My intention is not to knock them at all here. Peak Stupidity is just glad that it is not another US Government Agency, and I sure hope they don't get money, along with the strings attached, from the Feral Gov. We are all FOR private associations. Other groups, for other problems, have adopted these multi-step programs, some of which are also pretty serious. It's the silly stuff we want to make fun of, and it the struggling AA people, or the Fear of Humidity group* get burned in this post, they'll just have to sweat it out!

It's a bit up and down though, from the looks of it ...
off the wagon, back on, back off again ...

Peak Stupidity's current least favorite movie, Fight Club, had these support groups as a part of the plot. Ed Norton, the star and narrator, was in the habit of going to a different one each evening, I think to meet chicks. You'd think it'd be easy to pick-and-choose a girl's personality that way, but he was in it to meet girls that were also addicted to 12-step programs, I think... again, I didn't "get" this movie. BTW, it didn't work out so well (SPOILER ALERT), as he ended up with a skank.

I think this stuff's gone too far. From a site called Sober Nation (yeah, that's gonna happen) we get a partial list:
Cocaine Anonymous
Gamblers Anonymous
Dual Recovery Anonymous
Emotional Health Anonymous
Debtors Anonymous
Nicotine Anonymous
All Addictions Anonymous
Chemically Dependent Anonymous
Crystal Meth Anonymous
Dual Diagnosis Anonymous
Heroin Anonymous
Marijuana Anonymous
Methadone Anonymous
Pills Anonymous
Prescription Anonymous
Recoveries Anonymous
Bettors Anonymous
Bloggers Anonymous
[Though a card-carrying member, still unfortunately struggling with step 1. - Meeting tonight after this post - Ed.]
Clutterers Anonymous
Emotions Anonymous
Gamblers Anonymous
Hepatitis C Anonymous
HIV AIDS Anonymous
Kleptomaniacs and Shoplifters Anonymous
Procrastinators Anonymous
Recovering Couples Anonymous
Schizophrenics Anonymous
Self Mutilators Anonymous
Spenders Anonymous
Survivors of Incest Anonymous
Trauma Anonymous
Workaholics Anonymous
For most of these, yeah, you do probably want to remain anonymous, as it's that or we'd have put you in jail by now.

"Hi, my name is REDACTED of Peak Stupidity and I am ... sniff, I'm ... sniff, sniff... a blogger. There, I said it!"
“Welcome, REDACTED, I bet you don’t last through step 4, you poor bastard.”
“Hey, I’ll put 5 large on that one!”
“Count me in on that action.”
“Whoa, wait guys, is this what we’re supposed to be doing here?”
“Hell yeah, Bettors Anonymous is on Tuesdays. This is Thursday. SIT THE HELL down and let us get our bets in.”
“Hey, Fred, you’re in Kleptos Anonymous, aren’t you? You hold onto the cash – I don’t trust the rest of these sorry-ass addicts.”

Regarding "Procrastinator's Anonymous", was it just set up purely for the jokes?

"Hi, my name is Jimbo, and I'm a procrastinator. I meant to come 5 years ago, but I kept putting in off, and then it took me a long time to find out where they moved the meetings to..."

OK, we're running out of time here, and I've spent too long trying to figure out the joke in this next graphic:

Was that a New Yorker cartoon, because, if not, I don't get why I don't get it?

* H/T - old Bob Newhart show.

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