Good luck streak in Traffic School

Posted On: Tuesday - February 5th 2019 6:55PM MST
In Topics: 
  Music  Humor  Peak Stupidity Roadshow

Yeah, I'm kinda of a posthumous (unfortunately) fan of Warren Zevon, if that title rang any bells, and the music is at the bottom.

I spent some time in Traffic "School" at various times over the years. Yes, I put it in quotes, as you'll see from these anecdotes. Whom the Highway Department thinks is a bad driver and who actually IS a bad driver are too different things. However, you've just got to humor these people, at least when your points get right on up there. These Sheriff's deputies know what they're doing:

The guy teaching traffic school in the evenings did not really know the numbers, though. He told us that 1 in 3 people in America will die in traffic accidents. To emphasize the tragedy of it all, the guy went through the room with the 20 "students", through the aisles pointing at every 3rd one of us. "Imagine, you, then you ... etc.", as I sat there immediately thinking "that number is totally bogus ... let's see, just to make it easy, if everyone lives to be 100, then that would mean 1/3 of the country, 100 million people will die in those hundred years. That's a million per year. Whoa, but the real number is in the tens of thousands ..." (I believe at that time it was 40 - 50 thousand, but it's been going down.)

Well, see, the guy was otherwise nice, and, you know, did I want to keep my license in this state, or not? However, I must have been inadvertently shaking my head as I thought of his factor of 20 higher number, because he came back to me "you don't believe it?" "Nope, that can't be, man." We both just let it go - don't embarrass or piss off the guy, and what did I know anyway - I was a BAD DRIVER!

You've really gotta think about your numerical estimates some times, with the maxim DIMS, or Does It Make Sense? That wasn't a maxim for this guy, but we all got through it.

Another time, in 2 evenings during which we were to put in 4 hours each, to meet the requirements of THE STATE (this was a different "THE STATE"), I had planned to learn something, maybe not how to drive better, but something. Well, it turned out that both those evenings were really bad days for this teacher, as his favorite basketball team, along with that of most of us students, was in the playoffs on TV. Yep, he brought out a small B&W TV and we all watched basketball. Unfortunately, the games didn't take the whole 4 hours.

Now, it was time for each of us to stand up and tell the class about his traffic violation - OK, his LATEST ONE. Each of us went on about how we talked to the cop, what the fine was, and how many points this violation entailed. It morphed quickly into a discussion of the best way to deal with the traffic cops, with our teacher chiming in with his expertise. He was, after all, a GOOD DRIVER, as he came to class under his own power, far as I know. Anyway, talk to the cop first before he starts writing (not all of it is as applicable in the Police State age), don't say exactly how fast you were going, etc. Man, what a learning experience that was after all, readers! That was the best $200 plus the fine that I ever did spend!

Here's Warren Zevon with A Certain Girl (what's her name? I can't tell ya') from Bad Luck Streak in Dancing School I have not heard this in DECADES! It's not as good as recall, but I still like the originality of the great musical artist, whom we lost in 2003.

Vocals, Guitar: Warren Zevon
Bass Guitar: Leland Sklar
Drums: Rick Marotta

Peak Stupidity has featured Warren Zevon before with Excitable Boy and Werewolves of London

[UPDATED, Years later:]
Youtube lost my great Deputy Barney Fife scene. This one is OK, but ...

Wednesday - February 6th 2019 4:29PM MST
PS: Thank you, Ganderson. I just listened to it. Even though it takes a while to get into a ballad, I liked this one right away.
Tuesday - February 5th 2019 9:14PM MST
PS Check this version of a tune from Mr. Bad Example:
Tuesday - February 5th 2019 9:10PM MST
PS Love Warren. He had lots of good later stuff, as well. I miss him.
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