The Green Inferno - Monday Night Horror flick review - Part 2

Posted On: Monday - November 5th 2018 12:45PM MST
In Topics: 
  Treehuggers  Movies  Race/Genetics

WARNING: This post is a spoiler. DO NOT READ, if you want to watch it with suspense.

Peak Stupidity posted this movie review of The Green Inferno, a movie heard about serendipitously in the midst of writing a number of posts, uhhh, let's say slightly critical of, the pre-Columbian inhabitants of our couple of continents that we call The New World. It so happened that an images of this freaked out white girl in the midst of cannibals that I just randomly saved was from this movie, and I only checked the movie out due to some SJW's caption with the photo saying "don't watch this movie ... it's racisss ... aahhh!" Hey, any mention, good or bad, is good advertising, so they say (in a better way that I can't seem to think of right now).

I gave you readers ONE WEEK to see this movie, dammit, with a warning that a discussion of the ending was coming. Please quit reading right here, if you still want to watch it - I give it 5 stars for nightmare-conducive horror, BTW. You can come back to this one anytime. OK, some of you have lives, I! GET! THAT! [/Carlson]

These two images are from the trailer, so now I see what the marketing plan was for this flick:

Sucks you in with the treehugging ...

... then hits you with the HORROR.

To recap just a tad, after the movie's treehuggers-for-the-win against the nasty money-making working people part, there is this (as usual) unrealistic plane crash - well, OK the hitting the trees and ground part is pretty good, just not ...

... doing an aileron roll to try to put out an engine fire:

Then a bunch of the horror stuff happens, as these SJW's, or the ones that are intact still after the crash, are captured by the very tribe that they were successfully saving. Then, this one guy gets eaten right away, the rest of them are locked in a cage, another gets eaten (the movie stretches from lunch into dinner), blah, blah, yeah, the usual stuff you get when you immigrate into a cannibal-Peruvian community uninvited .. or even invited, and so forth and so on.

Here is jungle version of the nice Minnesota lady bringing brownies to your house to welcome you, the new neighbor:

Could she be Neil Young's long-lost love?

OK, here's the ending spoiler, finally: Besides the real scum of this SJW group, the leader, who is even more not worth saving, all the rest end up dead besides the star of the movie, Justine. In real life, she is actually Lorenza Izzo, wife of the late director of The Green Inferno, Eli Roth. I guess keeping her alive was a nice gesture. This fairly comely young lady, but again, not quite hot enough to warrant the underwear scenes, forcing this reviewer to take off a star, miraculously gets pulled out of the jungle, though I think she'd rather die than me call the "rain forest" a jungle. Rain forest, jungle, whatever, at the end she is back in New York city with her well-to do Dad who is UN Ambassador or something, very helpful if you need extraction from this or that jungle.

This Peak Stupidity created split-screen image is of Justine and her Dad
having a nice $300 sit-down dinner in NYC.

Dad: "Peru is dangerous. You can't just go invade a country because you see them as doing something immoral."

Justine: "I know. I just think I should be doing something about the rainforest." [Jungle, dammit!]

I guess those are the best lines the IMDB contributors could find, almost as good as "Go ahead punk, make my day!", I suppose.

I couldn't find any images of the ending so just put an image of a nice clean NYC boardroom in your head, in which Justine is doing a debriefing of her experience with the tribe on cannibals. She then told the suits that, no, there was no untoward cannibalism or anything not nice at all about this jungle tribe. They were perfect ladies and gentleman, is the impression she leaves.

This part just shocked me, people. Here we were, at the end of a gory, but kind of heartwarming, movie in which the young ignorant treehugger SJWs get their on-screen comeuppance, with extreme prejudice, if I may. It seemed like this director or screenwriter, though having made the movie for the horror fans, also wanted to put a little bit of possible reality in there. Not all of the now-digested SJWs in the movie were supposed to have been bad people, I figured, but they were ignorant, so a hard lesson was learned by the one non-digested member of the group.

NOPE. Justine, the remaining SJW, found it necessary to lie to the government diplomats in her debriefing in order to SAVE THE TRIBE. They'd eaten all her friends*, yet she was so, so virtuous that she must lie to save these noble savages of the Peruvian jungle. It's ludicrous, but, I don't know, are young people like this now? You tell me. It'd take a whole lot of brainwashing, it seems like even more than the usual pre-K - grad school 20 years to produce this kind of stupidity. Think, Justine, all of your new SJW friends got EATEN alive, OK, and the gore and horror was something you will have in your nightmares the rest of your on-screen life!

Whatever happened to normal people in the movies, say Apocalypse Now (no, not Apocalypto Now!), where, once a chopper gets taken out, and a guy's leg is half blown-off by the natives, you call in the A-4's to "blow the place back to the Stone Age"? See, that would have been a perfectly good, satisfying ending**, but noooo, Eli Roth had to blow it!

That's what I get out of this very unpleasantly surprising ending. I could be wrong - was this all to make sure nobody would come rescue the crud de la crud, the one guy purposefully left behind and alive in the cannibals' cage? That wouldn't make sense though, as it had to be at least a couple of days later and that head-of-the-SJWs would have already been in the lower intestinal tracts of this noble tribe by this point.

No, I've now gotta say, that other than as a movie to watch just for gore and horror, The Green Inferno sucks, completely due to this sick, stupid 1 minute ending scene! What a shame, and that's why I found it necessary to have a 2nd post - I couldn't have told the reader why the movie sucked without blowing it.

Oh well, we'll always have Lars' ... intestines, that is:

* Oh, except her college friend from the beginning who wisely decided she wasn't into this treehugging shit.

** Wait, what's that you say, they already are in the Stone Ages? Oh, yeah, how about the pre-Cambrian, from the pre-Columbian to the pre-Cambrian via the use of only 3 well-placed taxpayer-paid-for air-to-ground missiles.

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