Josh at Corporate and the All-Hands Meeting

Posted On: Tuesday - September 18th 2018 8:46AM MST
In Topics: 
  Curmudgeonry  Big-Biz Stupidity

It doesn't have to be "Josh" for this post, but who's going to pin me down from that anyway? That's my beef today, in fact. These corporate guys think that we are supposed to know them by their first names only. I don't mean on CNBC or in the Wall Street Journal but to their employees. I get emails from Bill and "State of the Company" ones from Josh, some with corresponding youtube videos (yeah, that's real secure). Nah, not Bill Taylor or Josh Connor, but just "Bill" or "Josh".*

Sure, it'd be one thing if they could sing, play guitar, or show their tits-and-asses, like Cher, Prince, or Madonna respectively. (Bono and Sting are just a couple of more that come to mind, having been discussed on Peak Stupidity for other reasons.) These are members of management, mostly the Master Bullshit Artists. Yes, I have a problem with this.

For one thing, who do you people think you are? Most of us have 2 or 3 names to help people keep track of who we are. Do you think you are the only VP of corporate relations in the world? Do you believe people think that is a more important job than building the product, writing the code, or actually conducting the service that is your company's business? Secondly, I really don't know who the hell you are! You say, Bill ____, that you are glad to have taken this new position and here's our new goals and let me give you a pep talk. I say "Who are you? Bill who? I've never heard of you, I didn't know who the last guy was in this high position, I didn't know he left, and I don't really care who you are and what your plans are." I'm gonna' just do my job as best I can and be very, very thankful that I don't have to know who you are. That's the best kind of job.

I am lucky not to have to attend any All-Hand meetings, as I got burned out on that from raising my hand a few times and given an answer that was nothing but a blow-off. "Yes, you over there in the ball cap and blue jeans." "Yeah, hey, Bill, uh, I want to bring up this idea ...." "Yeah, what's the name again (like he's gonna remember)? We don't really need to do anything like that right now, but I raise that to Josh going forward ..." "Josh who?" "Our CFO, Josh, you all should have gotten his .pdf on the State of the Company." "Okay, I'll check my SPAM folder when the meeting's over." "Uhhh, yeah, see those .pdfs are really import..." "Oh, pager's going off, gotta go."

* In the future, it'll be tweets from Tanner, Connor, etc., but that'll be their first names. I won't be at that company.

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