The importance of the Royal Wedding

Posted On: Monday - May 21st 2018 10:43AM MST
In Topics: 
  General Stupidity  Humor  Media Stupidity

"Maybe I shouldn't have married a slut. This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy!"

Just WTF are these people, anyway?

No, I mean, that wasn't an exclaimation point, just a question. I don't know who these people are. Who is the son or daughter of what Queen or King? Do your job, media - I don't know what the hell is going on here!

OK, it could be, that, as lead and only blogger of Peak Stupidity, I may have missed an important event of this weekend, over in the old country, formerly-Great, formerly-Britain. As a reader, I think you may be doing yourself a great disservice by using Peak Stupidity as your sole source for current events knowledge. Not tryin' to turn off readers ... just sayin'...

I think that the groom there is related to the Princess Diana whose death rudely interupted an episode of Saturday Night Live back in the 1990's, but I don't know who she was the daughter of. Should I be concened that I can't seem to keep up with this stuff? I perused the front page of the National Enquirer and other tabloids at the grocery store over the weekend, while I waited for some lady with more than 10 items, but I must have missed this one. Should I feel bad that I just like the original non-rehashed version of Elton John's Candle in the Wind (BTW, the Peak Stupidity blog has just gotta put up some music from that great album Goodbye Yellow-Brick Road from Elton John's prime songwriting years. Nope, I didn't forget Bernie Taupin)?

OK, listen, it'd be one thing if these people really were in some sort of power, as 150 years ago. There are people in the current age that pine for a, or "The" Monarchy, seeing it as better than democracy. Well, I'll tell you again, it wasn't all it was cracked up to be, Kinks songs notwithstanding, and this country was NOT EVER SUPPOSED TO BE A DEMOCRACY - IT WAS A CONSTITUTIONAL REPUBLIC! (Yes, WAS.) Still, if this monarchy had power then it'd be important who marries whom, as it was in the day. Oh, and I guess the brides weren't all actresses and sluts back then either, but I dunno, we didn't get into all the details in high school history class.

I just don't know if there is any way to care less about things like Royal Weddings. If there is, please inform Peak Stupidity via the comment section (put PS before the rest of the writing).

PS (see it's easy!): No, we absolutely will NOT provide links here to pictures of and gossip about, the Royal Wedding. Our best suggestion, if you missed this story is: See where all those candy bars are? Yeah, right near the checkout counter. OK, now get even with the tic-tacs. Turn around ... there you go. Got it? Good.

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