I'm gonna need to talk to one of those Explainers.

Posted On: Friday - December 29th 2017 11:48AM MST
In Topics: 
  Humor  Global Climate Stupidity

It is not official policy of the Peak Stupidity blog to literally rub people's noses in the dirt - right now the dirt is so hard packed from the cold that it just wouldn't take anyway. The expression is usually taken figuratively though, but it's not even our policy to figuratively rub anyone's noses into the dirt. See it's cold all around right now, and, just as we don't want to read the crap (usually on Drudge) that says Global Climate DisruptionTM is IMMINENT! when our readers are reading our posts half-naked due to a heat wave (send pics in please, for valuable prizes!), we won't reciprocate tats-for-tits, as THATS! NOT! WHOM! WE! ARE! (Whom we are, in fact, is absolute sticklers on grammar, along with of course, a repository for tats/tits pictures.) This juxtaposition of headlines appeared today on Drudge:

It's that last one down, ""Global Warming" [sick] Explainers Race to Justify Cold" that really displays the stupidity of this whole climaphobia (not a sexually-transmitted disease, but possibly worse; you're thinking chlamydia, hell, I have no idea what you're thinking) episode that's been festering for well nigh a couple of decades with no effective antibiotic sanity in sight. Oh, and too bad about the frozen dog, of course ... ever notice, hey ... why do they call them hot cold dogs, they aren't made of cow lips, ears, and assholes?...

Seriously, for a second, that one really gets to the heart of them matter. Someone's got to come up with an explanation for everything that goes on, right? Well for all the human stupidity in the world, science is not gonna cut it, and for economic studies/predictions, well, that's an upcoming post. For physical phenomenon, yeah, that's part of science. We need science to explain the physical things that go on in the world so we can create inventions to replicate the ones we like, create ways to eliminate or mitigate the ones that suck, and just know what the hell is going on, for next time. Great stuff.

However, think for a bit on why we need "Explainers" on these short and medium term climate phenomenon when we are supposed to have WORKING MATHE-FREAKIN'-MATICAL MODELS. Well, I might have been the first one to break it to you, but There is no working mathematical model of the world's climate, dammit! (Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, and Part 5.) Listen, I'm not expecting a climate model run in 2010 to tell me what exact days Chicago will set a record low-low or low-high, or when the next rain will fall in Oklahoma. That's local weather. However, a working model should at least be useful to give the trend of temperature over a few-year range of winters in a certain general region of a continent. It should do that for all such regions and it would NEED TO. It would NEED TO come up with data on average cloud cover over each large geographic area, along with precipitation averages over the seasons, snow cover, levels of the largest lakes, ice pack extent at the poles, ALL OF THAT.

Why do I keep saying "NEED TO" and using ALL CAPS? The reason is that these physical "states", if you will, are necessary to know in the future as they are not just outputs but they are a part of any working model of the energy balance (often mis-stated as "heat" balance) of the earth. If the model does not predict these things very well, then, even if it got some things correct, that'd have been luck or fudging, as it needs these future states (fairly accurately in some numerical form) to continue the modeling of the energy balance into the further future. Oh, ALL CAPS is because I got exited, OK!!?

Whew, back to small letters now, this is the kind of thing I've been trying to relate to some bloggers that seem to be pretty up on the political state of things, but can't really understand the state of climate science. As I've written many times already, there's nothing wrong with doing science, in any field, but please don't believe climatology has a working math model of the whole earth, kit-and-kaboodle.

What we seem to have, and who the Drudge headline is alluding to, is people, whether scientists or not, who are great with explaining after the fact what was the reason for that warm spring over here, and that large covey of hurricanes, 'scuse me, lack of hurricanes for 10 years, and so on. It's pretty easy to come up with something that fits. It's a whole lot easier, in fact, than having a working mathematical model of everything going on, good enough to tell us about what we're in for in terms of climate "going forward". Right now, we're still trying to reason with hurricane season. (Not really good enough of a tune, IMO, to warrant a separate post for the Parrotheads.) Got that, explainers!? We'd like to know some things ahead of time. Tell us something we don't know, just one time!

Well, now that I've gotten all heated, I may venture outside to reap the benefits of all our hard work emitting all of that CO2.... with it's well-expected effect of freezing-ass cold at my locale. With the cold weather (no no no... not climate), I may not run into many Explainers out there, but I'll all ears - I hope, I can't really feel them right now.

"Hey, are you one of those Explainers? Yeah, well I'm one of those Complainers, let's have a nice little chat, Floyd, if you've got a minute, about the weather."

[UPDATED 12/29 eve.:]
Added 7th paragraph to "explain" a bit more relating to the post title.

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