Apples in Tinfoil - avoid FEMA's Blaring Alert

Posted On: Wednesday - October 4th 2023 10:13AM MST
In Topics: 
  US Police State  Preppers and Prepping  Orwellian Stupidity  iEspionage

Is it tinfoil hat time yet? It's long been tinfoil hat time, really, ever since the roll out of the ubiquitous pieces of iEspionage knows a Apple iPhones. At least one can think of plenty of reasons to put these things in tinfoil, or, to be less an in-your-face SHTF Prepper and more fashionable to boot, those Faraday cages are nice.

To be comprehensive about blocking the iEspionage, additional devices for blocking video, audio, GPS, and - this is going FAR OUT, MAN! - maybe a rock tumbler to mess with the attitude gyros*. Oh, and you'd want a magnet to screw with the compass... and possibly all your memory, hence your pictures of your trip to China ...

So, yeah, unless you learn a lot, buy some hardware, and are ready to put up with a lot of inconvenience (relative to not having these things, that is), whatever the Government wants off of your iCrap, it can get at any time, so, why worry about this shit today?:

Long answer short? Bottom line you? For fun. Let's just fuck a little bit with FEMA, formerly the people whose commandeered basement shelters we were to get into were the Soviets to let the missiles fly. (Spoiler alert. I and 3 other Boy Scouts ate a lot of the Saltine crackers one day. Glad the nukes didn't fly!)

My wife forwarded me a warning from the My Patriot Supply site to ALERT! us: "US Government Test Will Break into Your Phone Oct 4." Why today at 11:20 MST?** They can break into my phone at any time, if I don't take highly inconvenient precautions using perhaps a few of the items that might even be sold on your site.***
“FEMA, in coordination with the Federal Communications Commission (FCC), will conduct a nationwide test of the Emergency Alert System (EAS) and Wireless Emergency Alerts (WEA) this fall.

The national test will consist of two portions, testing WEA and EAS capabilities. Both tests are scheduled to begin at approximately 2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4.

The WEA portion of the test will be directed to all consumer cell phones. This will be the third nationwide test, but the second test to all cellular devices. The test message will display in either English or in Spanish, depending on the language settings of the wireless handset.

The EAS portion of the test will be sent to radios and televisions.”
Wait a minute, 14:20 Eastern Daylight or 14:20 Eastern Standard? Surprise us! It won't matter. Phones will be off and wrapped ("Off" means exactly Jack F. Squat when it comes to electronics.), the router will be unplugged, but what about our TV? It's not connected to any outside signal, and this 14 y/o thing can't be THAT SMART if it still plays The Rockford Files. I may leave it plugged into the wall just to see if there's any way the US Feral Gov't can get to it. (I don't see how.)

As I wrote earlier in the post, this is just for fun. My wife asked me to do all this, so, sure, let's fuck with the Government today. I don't need some blaring signal messing with ME time. If it's really important, say, America has screwed with the Russians one too many times, well, they can call me in person. They've got the number. We'll be in the crawl space with the cat and the roaches.

* Hey don't laugh, OK, don't laugh so hard, because there are these things called Inertial Nav(igation) units that can keep position within a mile or two for 8 hours after a flight across the ocean. No external signals are involved. If The Powers That Be Want to Record Your Life started with a good position and known attitude, who knows?

** That's Peak Stupidity's time zone, and we're stickin' to it!

*** That's the silver lining to come out of this: I've found a new Prepper supply site.

Thursday - October 5th 2023 4:19PM MST
PS: Haha, Alarmist, I hope you didn't forget and put your cup of tea in there to warm up. That's for the Euro-wife, I guess - you should be drinking the cold Sweet Tea. It's got more sugar than Kook-Aid, the stuff I used to drink. I quit for the most part 10 years ago.

Then there are the Margeritas that you probably enjoyed on the veranda, after blowing out your flip-flop on that pop-top. Pop-tops... you could probably get some good money for one on ebay... shoulda' saved mine.
The Alarmist
Thursday - October 5th 2023 12:07PM MST

They only did this because I am back in the country for a couple weeks. My EuroWife asked why I put all the iToys in the microwave before taking her to the beach. She probably thinks I’m nuts, but she put hers in too.
Thursday - October 5th 2023 9:16AM MST
PS: Thanks, Mr. Blanc. Right, "You've got 8 minutes to get into a shelter. For a list of shelters near you, create an account on Download the app for the password or show your QR code to the shelter supervisor if he opens the submarine door."
Thursday - October 5th 2023 7:48AM MST
PS According to my phone and both the computers in front of me, it was 13:18 CDT when I got the alarm. Well, they are pushing the Russkies for an all-out nuclear war. I guess that they want us to know when the missiles are about to rain down on us.
Wednesday - October 4th 2023 2:07PM MST
PS: Well, we unwrapped and turned back on our iCrap around 45 after the hour, and we got the belated quick buzzing.

There is one way to turn these alerts off as they happen, Adam - wish I could use the MORE tag here - it involves broken pieces of glass though that could be hazardous to pets.

Also, I really wanted no noises out of the Government at the time in question, but I should have done more experimenting with phones off or on. batteries out (is there a back-up capacitor or something?) etc..

We did play around with calling each other, and yes Al foil does the trick. Perhaps Herb Kors, Guicci, or one of those gay guys could make something more fashionable. Yes, I talking headgear here too!
Adam Smith
Wednesday - October 4th 2023 1:32PM MST
PS: Greetings, Mr. Moderator,

I thought I had all those sorts of emergency alerts turned off on our phones. Well, I was wrong. Apparently these alerts cannot be turned off...

And they couldn't have picked a more obnoxious noise.

I hope this doesn't become a thing.

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