Peak Stupidity is an Equal Opportunity Offender

Posted On: Wednesday - April 5th 2017 5:50PM MST
In Topics: 
  Humor  Political Correctness  Geography

Lately, after our post about Moslem prayer, along with a few hundred other blog posts that may be deemed offensive to some sensitive folk, we feel the need to reiterate our never-before-stated offense policy.

Here at PeakStupidity, we take great pains to ensure that we are in full compliance with all US and UN statutes that enforce Equality of Offensiveness. We strive to exceed the standards of excellence in this area, nay, strive is too weak a word, we ARE "best in class" in offensiveness. We wish to assure our readers that we are indeed an Equal Opportunity Offender, and if you don't like it, please just GTFO of here.

As an example we will follow up our post on
Moslem prayer with respect to long-distance navigation with some religious "equal time".

Wait, though, first let me explain something that would have made the last post too long. At first thought of the concept of the Great Circle route, one may wonder why the East-West travel is only where the GC course is important. Look at the globe again, or think about one, and you'll soon realize that longitude lines are drawn differently than latitude lines. Since the longitude lines all fall on circumferences of the sphere, called the World, any North-South route will be the quickest along a line of equal longitude, which conform pretty well to the flat map, as North is usually up. In other words, the most direct course on the globe in a roughly N-S direction, will be what you see on the flat map.

OK, let's get this equal-time crap over with: When Christians and Jews pray we don't particularly face up, but we feel that that's where we should picture God, right? Well up is easy, as we've got gravity to help us stay oriented up/down wise. Then you've got your Satanists who would pray downwards, I'd imagine, though I haven't been to a meeting in a long while. That's pretty easy too. Of course for the up/down (call it the radial) axis, one could be praying really close to a large mass, say Mt. Shasta, and up or down would be slightly skewed, but not enough to cause us real difficulties requiring a cell-phone app for correction.

Back to the Moslems again, this brings up another fascinating point. Since this is prayer, and not airplane or vehicular travel, is there any reason they must pray along a surface instead of THROUGH a material? Do you see what I am getting at here? Why not pray at an angle downward though the Earth directly toward Mecca with azimuth and negative-altitude angles determined very precisely via an app, or website, say myPrayerAlt-Azimuth.muz? I have not found any guidance on this at all in the Koran, thought I haven't picked it up directly but have perused the Cliff Notes. I can see one "issue", as the mid-level managers like to say, meaning big freakin' problem, though. How would we distinguish Moslems from Satanists without a protractor or bubble-level?

How, indeed?

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