Posted On: Friday - September 30th 2022 5:54PM MST
In Topics: Genderbenders The Russians Humor
No, this is not a financial how-to post. The title is a question, and also, we're not talking finance here. We're talking "human assets", as the spies in the movies* and HR departments world-wide call their human resources.
See, though the iEspionage devices most people carry in their hands all day long would make your CIA, MI6, KGB, Mossad from a decade ago green with envy, it's not all wine and roses (for their honey pots) for the modern spy.
It may not have always been easy, but there were some tried-and-true methods to sign up those human assets one might still need. One of the best of them simply doesn't work anymore.
Here's the problem, as we will describe with an example;
"Mr. Bourne, we would like you to give us those documents, along with many others in the future that we will request from you via TicTok..."
"No. I love my country. Just why do you think I would betray it by spying for you by giving you company documents? I won't do it!"
"Oh, but you will, Jason. See, if you deny us a single request, well, before long, your mother, father, your sisters, and, for that matter, your whole High School graduating class, will know that you've been wearing women's dresses!"
"Know, hell! My mother buys my dresses, and my whole family chipped in to lop off my penis! In fact, I wouldn't have even been working here if the HR lady hadn't known about this from my resume."
How do you blackmail anyone into cooperating anymore, when there's nothing stupid enough to be embarrassed about these days?
The conversation between handler and potential asset was not finished, however.
"Transexual? Hmmm, you wouldn't happen to be from Transylvania by any chance?"
"Why, yes! Transexual, Transylvania - my whole extended family is. We overstayed our visas back in '87."
"We should talk, Comrade, our countries having been so close during those rollicking East Bloc days. How about coming up to my pad, for some wodka, and you can come up to the lab and see what's on the slab ..."
"OK, Comrade, I shiver with antici....
.
.
.
... pation."
PS: This came out of the NY Times story Steve Sailer discussed, in which some transexual military doctor and his wife were alleged to be giving the Russians medical info.
* Hell,. maybe in real life too. I just don't run into many.. that I know of ... I did wonder why blond hottie with the foreign accent wanted to have coffee and wodka with me the other afternoon ...
For more on the depiction of the spy world in American movies, as designed to think they know their asses from holes in the ground, see the 3-part Peak Stupidity series Apprehending Jason Bourne - Part 1 - - Part 2 - - and Part 3.
Comments:
The Alarmist
Saturday - October 1st 2022 3:38AM MST
PS
I just realized what the blackmail would be:
Spy-Runner: “Admiral, you got your job by claiming you are a trans-woman, but we know for a fact you have not undergone the requisite Chopadickoffamy surgery. It would be a shame if that became widely known.”
Oh, wait. It was widely known that “Lia” Thomas walked around the women’s lockerroom with his John Thomas flying free in the breeze, so I guess they can’t even be shamed with that. Maybe thay can be shamed as closet Trump supporters.
I just realized what the blackmail would be:
Spy-Runner: “Admiral, you got your job by claiming you are a trans-woman, but we know for a fact you have not undergone the requisite Chopadickoffamy surgery. It would be a shame if that became widely known.”
Oh, wait. It was widely known that “Lia” Thomas walked around the women’s lockerroom with his John Thomas flying free in the breeze, so I guess they can’t even be shamed with that. Maybe thay can be shamed as closet Trump supporters.
The Alarmist
Saturday - October 1st 2022 2:47AM MST
PS
I kind of miss the days when the Sovs would send some hottie up to me in a bar.
I kind of miss the days when the Sovs would send some hottie up to me in a bar.
I bring up the opposite medical operation in a joke I have. It's called an addadictome - sounds very medical, haha!