Posted On: Friday - May 6th 2022 5:36AM MST
In Topics:   Feminism  Female Stupidity
This is the quick excuse from the 2nd of 3 of writer Lionel Shriver's 3 close British women friends. She, and then we, first featured the excuse of Gabriella. Keep in mind that these are all from '05, as taken from Mrs. Shriver's well-written Guardian article, No kids please, we're selfish , and those are not the ladies' real names.
Again, I don't really feel the need to comment much on this one. There will be a post, though, after the 3rd woman's story, that will try to explain what the root problems really are here.
We hear from purposefully childless woman #2, Nora::
Irish-born Nora, 46, is an events planner who lives in London. She enjoys her work, in which she is renowned for her effectiveness and good humour, but she places equal emphasis on after-hours. She maintains a large, lively set of friendships, and regularly partakes of the city's concerts, films and plays. She's sharp, droll and quick-witted.OK, look, "ask" is not a freaking noun, bloke! (Does "bloke" apply to women? Probably not.)
Astonishingly, Nora and all five of her Irish siblings have neglected to reproduce: "Each of us is quite independent, with goals that were more immediate and career-oriented than children."
Unlike Gabriella, through young adulthood Nora always assumed she would have children. Yet she is romantically fastidious and wilful. Though she admits, "I went through a phase when I was coming up to 30 when I got very depressed because it appeared to me highly unlikely that I would have children", motherhood "was never so important to me as to compromise on the man". As smart, appealing women, both Nora and Gabriella might surely have had families were they willing to marry Mr Not Quite Right, but kids weren't important enough. Once again, personal happiness trumps kids.
Nora grants she's "a bit" regretful, although "as I grow older, I feel a greater need for solitude, and for 'me-time'. Perhaps it's work that does it - being responsible for 10 staff and having a fairly 'open-door' policy makes me delight in going home, closing the door and relishing the peace." A holiday to Canada with her godson was sobering. "Yes, he's great - funny, intelligent, well-mannered, interested - but I felt that the responsibility of taking him into bear country was huge. A metaphor for life, perhaps?"
Nora's maternal regrets are skin deep. "I think I have a lovely life. I can see myself continuing to have fun, to enjoy my job, to meet interesting people, to go on great holidays, to read interesting books, to support my family and friends." (Note that I did not plant the words "fun" and "interesting" in my interviewee's mouth.) When I ask what she sees as redeeming her life, she balks. "I think that's a very Protestant question! I'm not sure my life needs redemption. Maybe I'm too much of a hedonist."
Still Nora sorrows, "I think my parents came from an excellent gene pool, and it's a shame that, to date, that hasn't been passed on." Though she has many cousins, the loss of the combined heritage of her particular parents is "a sadness". As for perpetuating her ethnicity, her parents both taught Irish, and she has "a mother tongue that is under threat. But in the wide scheme of things, I am conscious that languages disappear every year." We are of a generation grown accustomed to loss - of habitat, wilderness, biodiversity, fish. Why not Irish, too?
Be that as it may, at the end of our exchange Nora declares fervently, "You and I should have had children!" - hastily appending that she meant not for our own sakes, but in social terms. "We're blessed with brains, education and good health." She admits that the longer our discourse has continued, "the more I think I am a squanderer of my gifts and my heritage. But I live in a decadent age where that doesn't seem such a problem. Anyway, devoting my whole life to promulgating my ethnicity is a big ask."
OK, just a little bit here will do for this post. It's this: "compromise on the man". Yep, it had to be one of the men that the TV, movies, and bodice-busting novels* show you. Indeed, the influence of mass media has played a large role in this feminist and demographic destruction. On the other side of it, it worked on me too. I believed these TV shows about what girls' minds were supposedly like for far too long.
Next: "As smart, appealing women ...". OK, well, see, the "smart" really doesn't matter THAT awful much for this sort of thing. I will take your word that you all were appealing, but that tails off usually before 30 years old. That biological clock knew what it was doing. Was it the AM/PM or volume knob that you got wrong?**
Again, I'll write a lot about the 3 of them later on. I've got to check up on the goings-on in Shanghai, China.
* Never opened one - just going by the covers, that seems to happen a lot in those stories, kinda like a Lauren Southern political video. A post is coming on that ...
** Old Seinfeld show humor.