Me and the IRS

Posted On: Friday - February 18th 2022 6:44PM MST
In Topics: 
  Music  Humor  US Feral Government  Taxes

I've probably written multiple times before (and there will be a "Taxes" topic key coming) that I have, and I show, no respect for the IRS. I do the tax calculations on their paper forms for a number of reasons.

1) I see no reason to have an "account" of some sort by going electronic, with even more of my personal information given. I don't even give them my real phone number, which is kinda pertinent to this story today.

2) I want to physically send the returns into the middle of the pile on April 14th or thereabouts - I don't even give a damn anymore if I'm a day or two late. I don't know how big that pile is anymore*, but that's the idea.

3) I would hate doing even more on-line stuff.

4) This is a biggie too: I will neither pay ANYONE one zinc cent, nor buy the cheapest piece of software available, to help the IRS out, or even myself. It's bad enough I'm paying lots of money that is mostly used to screw me and my country, but I'll be damned if I'm going to shell out more money to help me at it.

So there you have it. It's not that hard really ... especially when you don't care that much whether you get everything right. They can write me back, as they have before, to tell me I messed up and I owe them or vice versa. Easy, peasy.

I got a letter sort of like this a few weeks ago, in fact. However, instead of it telling me I made a boo-boo, this one says that the IRS simply didn't get my '20 return. However, they have credited me with the money that I sent in for tax due. Wait, what ?? That check that they deposited was stapled to that tax return! (Yes, I know it says not to staple it, but remember that "no respect" thing? "I tell ya', I look over this guy's return, and he's got deductions for lingerie he bought for my wife. No respect, I tell ya'.") You got my money, but you didn't get the forms. It was all stapled together, so it's not like the mistake was on my end. What's it gonna be next year, "my dog ate your return on Federal Bring-your-pet-to-work day"?

I do make the effort to make a couple of copies of the returns each time, mind you. However, I don't think I'm gonna let the IRS off this easy. It's not like they wouldn't charge me penalties and actual SERIOUS interest, if the mistake were on my end.

No, I have a letter coming, which I may or may not publish on Peak Stupidity. It will read something like this: Hey, listen, IRS, I can't be "papering" over you people's mistakes. Whoever it was in your offices that collected my check for deposit had to have handled my tax return. Could you go and find out who that was? It's not like I haven't been in your situation, so let me offer a few pieces of advice from my Mom: "Keep looking. Look again! It'll turn up."

Country singer Johnny Paycheck has the same attitude as that seen here on Peak Stupidity way back in the late 1970s.

Johnny Paycheck was best known for his song Take this job and shove it., another song with a bad attitude. The song here was written by Don J. Scaife, Gladys Scaife, Phil S. Thomas, and Ronny Scaife, but I believe Mr. Paycheck took it to heart. From the Wiki page, we can read "In 1990, he filed for bankruptcy after tax problems with the IRS. "

There won't be any posts tomorrow and (as usual) Sunday, due to other obligations, so here's wishing the Peakers around the world a great weekend! Next week, more polemics about the story unfolding in Ottawa right now, more Big "TECH" Anarcho-Tyranny, a different sort of inflation post, finally something on that "R. Christian" book that explains his Georgia Guidestones, and likely more Kung Flu stupidity. See ya'.

* Well, I went ahead and did a very cursory duckduckgo search. Haha, the first blurb told me "Paper Returns Are 'Kryptonite' for IRS." So much the better!! I haven't found the number I want yet, but I also just read The IRS Just Issued a New Warning to All Taxpayers by one Kali Coleman on a site called Best Life. The sub-headline says: "THIS 2022 TAX SEASON IS SET TO BE MORE HECTIC THAN EVER BEFORE." Hahaaa! Not my problem. I just send in the money and fill out the forms to the best of my ability in the hour and a half I allot myself.

Sunday - February 20th 2022 7:25PM MST
PS: Mr. Smith, thanks for the info and the links. I don't want to read up on this, as that sometimes conflicts with my memories --- which necessarily are always correct.

I do remember him being quite the hero among certain types of people. There are a few things the far left and the extreme right can agree on.
Adam Smith
Sunday - February 20th 2022 2:49PM MST
PS: Good Afternoon, Mr. Moderator,

No worries. I understand why you do not click on times articles out of principle.
This link might be more your speed...
(Well, the title anyway. It's till the lyin' press.)

To some, attack on IRS office made pilot a hero...

Sunday - February 20th 2022 2:11PM MST
PS: Oh, regarding the therapy dogs for the Capitol Police: What a load! I wrote about Mr. Sicknick before (seemed like a decent guy, but the Lyin' Press' story was contrived BS). As for "first responders" committing suicide, that's where that world's smallest violin (thank you for that too, Adam) comes into "play". (Get it, play?)

If you got a really smart dog, say a border collie, as therapy, for those Capitol cop "first responders" on suicide watch, he might have enough sense to attack said responder on Constitutional grounds. We need more Constitutionalist dogs - trained very specifically to defend the US Constitution.
Sunday - February 20th 2022 1:59PM MST
PS: Bill, that was a hell of a story. You gotta feel for the individuals in the story, even the bank lady. After all, there are these government rules over here and these other government rules over there, and the people enforcing them don't have any reason to work together. That put the bank in a real bind, even with the government lady actually trying to get you your money within a reasonable time. Of course, if the bank lady could have worried about something outside of covering her ass, you'd have been OK.

For Robert and Mr. Smith: I do remember the story of the guy who crashed the plane into the offices in Dallas, TX (I think? - not about to click on the NY Times on purpose - sorry, Adam) That was a coincidence about my having posted this on the 12th anniversary. I just hate to waste good avgas on an IRS bureaucrat anyway, not at $4.75 a gallon!

Mr. Blanc, that gets me back to what I was writing to Alarmist - IMO, this is just bureaucratic stupidity and the humor that results. This particular one is not stressing me out like the time they said I owed about $500 and I didn't agree, but with this being a time when that sum was like $10,000 to me now, just in terms of my financial shape. Well, I think I called them on the phone, was not satisfied with their explanation, so I blew it off. Well, the next year, they took that $500 out of the $1,000 I had coming back in a refund, also worth a lot fo me. Man, that was the last time, I purposefully planned for any kind of refund.

My letter back to the IRS will be a pleasure to write. Yes, I could sent them copies I have, but I gotta have some fun with this.
Sunday - February 20th 2022 1:50PM MST
PS: Thanks for the great comments, everyone. I've been off on a camping trip - we did have internet, but I made an effort to stay off of it.

Alarmist, I'm thinking of the movie "Brazil" as much as anything nefarious. (Great movie, BTW.) The FATCA laws make the American government look pathetic, IMO. Isn't this one of only a handful, max, of countries that try to collect taxes from citizens for work done elsewhere. I hadn't thought of the aspect of it you mentioned, discouraging overseas companies from employing Americans. I remember reading years ago about the Swiss banks capitulation on this, ruining their biggest feature, their privacy.

Dieter, you're operating on a whole 'nother level past my available time to read (or really, HAVE read) all of that literature you use to put all this together. (Hey, at least I saw "Brazil" - back when it came out, in fact.) Please don't tell me, as Ron Unz would, that you read all that in one afternoon, somewhere in the Black Forest, during Octoberfest? ;-}

That 3rd-to-last paragraph says a lot though. Thank you.

Sunday - February 20th 2022 12:51PM MST
PS Well, AE, if you’re willing to go eyeball-to-eyeball, at least obliquely, with Leviathan, good on ya. That’s a lot more headache than I need or want. So, as soon as I started having freelance income and expenses, I hired an accountant. He (it’s always been a he although Mme B had a she before we were married and pooled resources) not only keeps us out of the sights of the Feds, he provides advice on tax avoidance, err, savings, and can tell us the tax consequences of various courses of action, especially now that little of our income is “earned”. So, keep fighting the good fight, but I’m sitting this one out.
Adam Smith
Sunday - February 20th 2022 7:54AM MST
PS: Good morning, Robert,

“is it illegal to burn your own house?”

I'm under the impression that it is perfectly legal to torch your own house as long as there is no fraud involved (trying to collect insurance, for example) and that you own it (no security deed). Criminal defense lawyer dot com adds that you cannot damage anyone else's property while doing so...

• Property you own. While most arson crimes involve property that belongs to other people, you can also be charged with arson if you set fire to your own property. However, to be convicted of arson by burning your own property you must either set the fire for fraudulent purposes, or the fire must lead to someone else's property getting damaged. For example, burning down your home or business with the intent to collect on your insurance policy is arson. Similarly, if you intentionally set fire to your property and that fire then leads to someone else's property getting damaged, you may also be convicted of arson.

Man Crashes Plane Into Texas I.R.S. Office...

Looks like that happened on February 18th 2010.
(Achmed posted this IRS story exactly 12 years later.)

So uh, Happy Anniversary‽

Saturday - February 19th 2022 4:41PM MST
PS: Somewhere around 2010, a man in Texas got pissed at the IRS. They were about to seize his house for some kind of tax dispute.

He burned his house to the ground (is it illegal to burn your own house?). He then flew his plane into the IRS offices in Austin.

We were once a Free Nation.

That very afternoon, I was going to visit some friends (who lived about a quarter mile away) but the road to their apartment was closed off with LOTS of flashing lights.

Lets go Iris.
Bill H
Saturday - February 19th 2022 9:58AM MST
PS I had an issue in 2002 with a deposit that the government sent to my bank but which the bank deposited in the wrong account because one digit in the account number was wrong, even thought my name and Social Security number were also on the deposit. A bit over $13,000 was involved.

I got a person at the government agency, who was very nice and very helpful. She saw that the deposit had been made in my bank, with the wrong account number, and said for me to stay on the line while she made a conference call with the bank to straighten it out.

So the three of us are on the bank and the government lady explains the problem. The bank lady says yes, she sees where it was deposited in the wrong account, but insists that it was the right account because it was deposited into the account with the number that the bank was given.

The government lady says check the name and SS number, and the bank lady agrees they don't match. She agrees that the name and SS number do match on my account and that therefor my account might therefor, in fact, be the right account. I start to think we're making progress.

The government lady then tells the bank lady that she is officially authorizing the bank to move the money to my account, and I think, "Yay, the problem is solved." But the bank lady says she can't do that, that the only thing she can do is return the deposit to the government and have the government issue a new deposit.

The government lady asks why she can't transfer the money and the bank lady replies, "Because the government won't let us do that." The government lady kind of loses it and halfway yells, "Lady, I'M THE GOVERNMENT." The bank lady says the govt lady is with the wrong part of the government to be able to tell her what to do, that she would have to be with the part that regulates banks.

The govt lady tries another approach. "Look, ma'am," she says, "this is about your customer, who is on the phone with us. If you return the deposit it will take several months to process a new deposit and for him to get his money. I am authorizing you to get him his money today by transfer. As the depositing agency I have the authority to do that, and you have his name and SS number on the deposit as verification. Now let's do this in the way that is easiest for all of us and best for your customer."

The bank lady was very sorry, but bank regulations did not permit her to do that, and she would return the deposit forthwith. The story, however, does not end there.

Several months later, having still not received the money, I tried to follow up. I explained the problem an was told that getting any information as to the status of the money would be next to impossible. "It is an irregular item," I was told, "and is outside of the normal work flow. That means that when it came back in it was put on someone's desk, but there is no way to know who's desk it was put on, so I can't tell you it's status because I have no way to find out who is working on it."

I did get the money, five months after the bank deposited it into the wrong account.
Adam Smith
Saturday - February 19th 2022 8:05AM MST
PS: Good morning Mr. Alarmist,

Should that headline about IRS workers to America supposed to read, “We be Tired” ?

Perhaps.(?) I'm not really up on the vernacular, and my Ebonics is pretty poor...

It seems “We be Tired” is good too. I like it. It works in this situation.
26. We be tired of England.

These two seem like especially sloppy sentences...
23. It never be tired of solving my puzzles.
29. Today of mind is easy be tired of Oh really gloomy?

Not sure if this is true... (Maybe it is?)
20. The man who is tired of London is tired of life.

I used this tweet as a style guide of sorts...

Brought to my attention here...

The Alarmist
Saturday - February 19th 2022 6:52AM MST

Good afternoon, Mr. Smith.

Should that headline about IRS workers to America supposed to read, “We be Tired” ?
The Alarmist
Saturday - February 19th 2022 6:49AM MST

I have experienced extended exposure to large public bureaucracies in the US, UK, Germany, France, and Portugal and lesser exposure to bureaucracies in at least fifty other countries. While the Europeans, particularly the Germans, think they have perfected bureaucracy as an art form, the US has perfected it as an apparatus of torture and terror rivaling formal programmes actually dedicated to those ends, like the KGB and Stasi.

The IRS pursues me around the world for a view to my finances in the hopes of taking its share despite tax treaties giving me enough of a foreign tax credit to make it a waste of their and my time and money. This plus FATCA is one of the reasons a lot of expat jobs which used to be filled by Americans have vanished over the years, depriving the US of much of the international soft power it used to have in private business abroad. I guess they can make up for it with the military-intelligence-political complex. The Brits have a more enlightened policy of pretty much leaving their expats alone, which has for decades allowed the UK to punch well above its weight on the global business stage despite a lack of serious military power.

BTW, I have several years of letters where they credited my payments and asked for the tax returns they were supposed to accompany. I too wonder what that’s about, but I worry about what that portends, and I can’t wait to see how that pans out. Think Kafka in Der Prozess.
Dieter Kief
Saturday - February 19th 2022 12:48AM MST
Mod.,you're in the heart-chamber of the struggles that DEFINE the modern world (for illustrations, have a quick look at Modern Times, Brazil and Metropolis).

For those who prefer a rush of oversight - have a fast look at this few lines here:

"Superior to bureaucracy in the knowledge of techniques and facts is only the capitalist entrepreneur, within his own sphere of interest. He is the only type who has been able to
maintain at least relative immunity from subjection to the control of rational bureaucratic knowledge. In large-scale organizations, all others are inevitably subject to bureaucratic control, just as they have fallen under the dominance of precision machinery in the mass
production of goods. (Weber 1980: 129/1968a: 225)
In this sense the ideas of Luther and Calvin determined the tracks of a modern, dynamic development like switchmen (Weber 1920c: 252/1948: 280). However, it is important to
notice that in contrast to Karl Marx, Weber’s dynamic forces are an original phenomenon of modern times. And it is this creation of the dynamic force in the West, in spite of the fact that it is widely taken for granted, which is abnormal and in particular need of explanation. Therefore the appearance of modern societies in the West cannot be explained by inherent historical laws of evolution
but by the intended or unintended construction of institutions with their own dynamic logic
(Roth 1979: 178). Nevertheless, once these forces were unleashed, the human masters increasingly lost understanding of the forces shaping their lives and their will to control
them. The human actors found themselves caught in an “iron shell of obedience” (sociologist Max Weber, 1920), or the “gears of a machine” (Weber again, 1910).
For of the last stage of this cultural development, it might well be truly said: “Specialists
without vision, sensualists without heart; this nullity imagines that it has attained a level of
civilization never before achieved.” (Weber 1920).

So - this IS the basic dynamic modern societies and us modern individuals - exist in / live in: Caught in the middle of huge bureaucrcies, which's central aim, according to Weber - is to collect taxes (!) - and large machineries, which make our lives easier and more comfortable while sucking in lots of our energies in exchange. - We moderns have our miseries (=miserabilities) too. Modernity is not just about affluence and abundance, it is also about obedience (tendential/potntial loss of freedom and liberties) and - work. Organized work done in much higher quantities than ever before in the history of mankind.

So - here you have it in a nutshell, really: Our basic dilemmas, and illusions. And conundrums. And progresses (and the cost at which they occur).

(The above quote is from a paper of Philosopher Christian Etzold, German philosopher now working in Osaka, about Jürgen Habermas and Max Weber - two of my favorite go to thinkers when basic questions arise - like for example yours about beauracracy, Mod.).
Adam Smith
Friday - February 18th 2022 11:25PM MST
PS: Good evening Mr. Moderator,

“I'm sorry Mr. Newman, it's almost as if our therapy dog ate your return...”

Capitol Police using support dogs in wake of Jan. 6 trauma...

Therapy dog sent to Capitol to help officers cope with trauma of Jan. 6...

IRS Workers to America... “We Tired!”

“After a while, your wife and relatives get tired of listening to your stories. They say, ‘How could you take those people’s houses and their businesses?’ The only place you get understanding is with other IRS people.”

America's least favorite “agency” needs a puppy room!

Adam Smith
Friday - February 18th 2022 11:25PM MST
PS: Good evening Mr. Moderator,

“It's bad enough I'm paying lots of money that is mostly used to screw me and my country, but I'll be damned if I'm going to shell out more money to help me at it.”

Every dollar you give is another dollar they have to bring harm to someone.

WHAT SAY YOU? : (PLEASE NOTE: You must type capital PS as the 1st TWO characters in your comment body - for spam avoidance - or the comment will be lost!)