Big Biz eTreehuggers

Posted On: Saturday - October 16th 2021 11:12AM MST
In Topics: 
  Treehuggers  Curmudgeonry  Big-Biz Stupidity

I hope the reader can make out the wording above, shrunk to fit our format, but also Paint™ed up to cover up any bleed-through ID'ing info. It tells me that I can win 500 dollars if I sign up to get eStatements (but probably not) instead of paper statements as I always have. I've seen the same thing, but without the chance of getting A MILLION DOLLARS!*, errr, 500 bucks, on the bills from the electric company.

For both this bank statement and the electric company, this type of written encouragement to be a good Treehugger and go electronic is written on a 2nd sheet of paper, and for both, this 2nd sheet has no other important information on it!** I remember that one of these things tells me to "go paperless". " Let's save the trees! Do you know that after a lifetime of getting 2nd pages of your statements with this important environmental advice on it, you will have saved a tenth of an entire Longleaf Pine tree by the time you get your last statement, sent to the nursing home, because your estate probably stiffed us?!"

Man, this stuff is stupid! It's a combination of Big-Biz Treehugging virtue signaling and Big-Biz bureaucracy, motivated by management for the real purpose of saving some bucks and attempting to sell you more services via ads on their site.

This brings me to the old bank that I dealt with for about 25 years, it having only been bought twice in that time, a pretty good record nowaday. I really liked the (pretty much) one teller that I seemed to be the only one in the bank with most times. I first thought the place was going tits up, but then realized after a while that most customers were doing things electronically and didn't deal in cash as much as our family tends to do. After the quick anecdote that I will relate happened, I ended up seeing this nice teller again after most of decade when I went into the place with a friend, and it was nice to see her.

The newest owner, a Big-Biz operation, told me on that paper statement (probably a separate page!). that if I didn't get electronic statements, I'd have to pay one buck a month for each account. We had three. I asked some manager type if he could turn this off, but he just humored me and, no dice. OK! I had an idea. I had gotten laser printer print-outs from the nice teller lady about 5 times already when I'd lost the statements. "Hey, OK, turn me off the paper statements. I'll just get REDACTED to print me out the stuff a month at a time or whatever." "Nope, they'll still charge you if you don't go electronic."

Okedokie, then! We cashed out the 3 accounts totaling about $13,000 and said "SEE YA!" without looking back. Did that Big-Biz outfit learn anything here? I seriously doubt it. Go ahead, Big Biz Bureaucrats, be those virtue signaling eTreehuggers with your eStatements! You're gonna save a piece of paper a month but give me about 13,000 other ones.

* Hey, it's an easy mistake to make. A million dollars in ten years may be worth what's now 5 Benjamins.

** That is, other than the same ID info on the back side, as on the first sheet.

Wednesday - October 20th 2021 7:21PM MST
PS: Mr. Blanc, sorry for the very late reply. Yeah, I understand that this was not the end of the world. I try to stay off-line for all banking stuff though (not saying it's less secure for sure, but I feel like it is). I am glad to hear about the easy-on-the-eyes whatever-the-title. The branch near us has none of that, and then their still doing the masking crap, meaning they have to let one or two customers in at a time, for fear of less-identifiable robbers, asking for ID there and asking me to state my business. "Banking", I say.

That deal with the 1 buck per account as a stick was just the last straw with that branch. The company that last bought the bank was impersonal Big-Biz all the way.
Sunday - October 17th 2021 11:10AM MST
PS Our bank did somewhat the same thing. But, as they are otherwise a pretty decent outfit to deal with (plus, our Personal Relations Banker, or whatever her silly title is, is easy on the eyes, which was probably a more important factor for me than for Mme B), we went along. Although I do have to remember to download the statements now and again, I do find the digital statements a lot easier to warehouse than the paper sort. And good one, Alarmist. I’ll be using that.
Saturday - October 16th 2021 4:49PM MST
PS: Lord help you if she is in HR, Alarmist!

Oh, you wrote "colleague", so probably not.
The Alarmist
Saturday - October 16th 2021 4:32PM MST

I had a lovely but annoying young British colleague who appended all her e-mails with “Please consider the environment before printing this mail.”

So I hit Reply to All and wrote,

“I considered the environment carefully, and concluded that trees are a renewable resource that maximise carbon sequestration when they are actively growing and keep people gainfully employed in managing the forests set aside for paper products, so in the interest of the environment and in the interest of keeping gainfully employed the people in the forestry and paper products industries, who no doubt make less money than we do, rather than also outsourcing production of paper to China, I printed your e-mail with great pleasure. Thanks for suggesting I consider the end-to-end ramifications of virtue signalling.”
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