Posted On: Monday - August 2nd 2021 11:53AM MST
In Topics:   Customer Care  Kung Flu Stupidity
(Meme is again this page on the Off-Guardian site.)
That was easy. I wanted to teach my 10 y/o how to do this easily. We weren't staying in the store any longer than it took to get 6 potatoes for the barbecue, but I got him going with "just try not to count people twice, and do like this: 'mask on, so 1 out of 1, no mask, so 1 out of 2, etc.'". It's sometimes easy to forget to count up one on the total when you have a positive. ("Mask positive, that is. Kung Flu positivity was unknown, and we were not worried - we could have been at any time and maybe are now.)
We were counting customers only, not employees*, and we got 18 out of 52 with a margin of error that you may expect from a 10 y/o kid doing this survey for the first time**. That's a 35% F.D.C. (Oh, that's Face Diapering Compliance, as defined in Center for Disease Control spec. 19-124.34, paragraph (b). You all should be familiar, dammit. It's the LAW!) This 35% is up from an even-less-scientific 2-5% I would have told you from last week.
Season 3 is winding up, folks. Get ready to tell people to "bugger off" or at least "mind their own business" some more, on line, off line, wherever.
A friend got his 2nd vaccination shot that he's taking only because he needs to get into Canada. He was in bad shape for a day and a half from that one. His being a single guy, we were worried and thought we might need to go out there and check up on him. Should he or I have needed to report this problem with the vaccine***, who would we call, the Fauci hotline?
"Hello, CDC customer care? How may we betterDo you all remember the clever bit of fact-checking by Mr. Sailer last summer about the use of pictures taken with telephoto lenses to make the beaches look packed. I was thinking of that while we were the beach recently. It was packed, I mean packed, to where it did look like those telephoto shots, but, no, I was standing right there among everyone.
staberrr, serve you today?"
"Well, my friend just took the 2nd vaccine shot. He's been on the toilet and can't sleep. He says his kidneys are hurting, and this thing is making any little problem he has much worse right now."
"OK, thank you for your patience. We are not having a place on the script for that. I can put down TMI, but unless your friend has passed away, we can't help you, Sir, at this number."
"So you only want to call us if he's dead?"
"No, Sir, we can only take this information from the innoculee himself. Is there anything else we can help you with today?"
"Thank you for calling. Please be sure to wear your mask, as recommended, while you complete the survey we just spammed your phone with."
There was nary a mask or freaked-out individual in sight. The air was hot, the water T was just right, and we had a blast.
* I heard later from a friend that in that half-ritzy neighborhood there are people already writing on the "neighborhood" app that they are upset that the employees at the store are not all diapering up. Someone's bound to send out a memo - easier than stocking vegetables, that's for sure, and pays more to boot.
** I did tell him that if we wanted to do this more accurately, we'd need to stay near the entrance for a half hour and check the people coming in or out, one.
*** Sure, I know you get slightly sick often from many vaccines, but this one is a different story.