Crash of the CPR smart dummy

Posted On: Friday - May 21st 2021 7:09PM MST
In Topics: 
  Humor  Artificial Stupidity  Healthcare Stupidity

You can learn a lot from a dummy.

(Extra limbs sold separately.)

With the Artificial Stupidity topic key, the reader will find many posts decrying the trend in the modern world to make every damn thing smart (see Coffee Machines and Jet Airplanes - machines taking control). Smart phones are the worst of it, but there have to be smart cars, smart toasters, smart toilets (? They come to you when you're ready, I think...) This post is about the latest one I've heard of, a smart CPR dummy - yeah the hardest part about writing this post was sifting through my head for the best title.

The healthcare worker of our family has to do a recertification on CPR every 2 years. She's got a deadline coming right up. Well, she tried to get this done just after her work time in order to save on a commute. I kid you not - the CPR dummy was down. His software must have crashed. He was not so smart that day, so training had to be postponed. I still remember the day when dummies were just dummies, the CPR type and even the ones in Washington, FS.

Peak Stupidity has embedded this The Office scene before, I am pretty sure. This is one of the funniest pieces of TV I've ever run into.

The Alarmist
Monday - May 24th 2021 7:10AM MST

Thanks, Bill H ... your story reminds me of our crew chiefs making sure that anything not bolted in place was locked away any time they heard a Navy or Marine group were transiting our base, and we had SPs with authorization to shoot to kill anyone who crossed the red line. The worst offenders were the C-130 crews, because they could “requisition” the big stuff.
Sunday - May 23rd 2021 5:09PM MST
PS: Haha, Mr. Blanc, and besides those orange books (very big in the late 1990s and early '00s) there were the yellow ones, remember?

"The complete idiot's guide to using a CPR dummy."

I never bought one of the yellow books, and probably not an orange one, as I thought of myself as neither a complete idiot nor a dummy.

Thanks, Adam. That first link, just looking at the URL for now, will probably deserve a PS post.
Adam Smith
Sunday - May 23rd 2021 10:34AM MST
PS: Good afternoon everyone...

Lol at the office video. Thanks Mr. Moderator.
Fun story Mr. Alarmist. Thank you.

Extra limbs sold separately...

Alexa, warm my seat...

Girls like guys who have great skillz...

What will they think of next?

It seems to me, Jim Flynn was a charlatan.

Saturday - May 22nd 2021 8:22AM MST
PS Smart dummies. What’ll they think of next? I suppose they’ll have to be an after-market manual, Smart Dummies for Dummies.
Bill H
Saturday - May 22nd 2021 7:26AM MST
PS Alarmist, you sound like my kind of person. I was Navy and, while I was on the deck crew, was sent out at night to get some manila mooring line by "moonlight requisition." (They kept giving us nylon, because our line lockers flooded when we dived, but it didn't work on our capstan heads.)

We got into three warehouses, but none of them had any 5" manila, so coming back we stole three mooring lines off of the submarine tender three piers down from our boat.
Saturday - May 22nd 2021 4:38AM MST
PS: That was a good story. Thanks, Alarmist. I also had forgotten that particular Beach Boys song, even after having been a big fan of the group.

BTW, when you started, I thought you meant there was no dummy at all and that you'd practice on Rhonda and she'd practice on you. We did have a great country back in the day to where that'd have been OK, but then one is supposed to push hard enough to break ribs, so ...
The Alarmist
Saturday - May 22nd 2021 4:08AM MST

Wow, Air Force flashback triggered here.

I did a CPR course, and my partner was a blonde chick by the name of Rhonda, from California.

So we launch into CPR, me first on the quick check and pre-cordial thump (yes, that long ago) and the first set of compressions, and then it’s time for my partner to join in for full CPR, so I launch into the chorus of “Help me Rhonda,” and she joins in doing the compressions while the others are laughing and continuing “Help me Rhonda,” even with “Bah bah bah bah ummm.”

At one point Rhonda gets too enthusiastic doing the compressions, and the nub of a faux tooth on the dummy bites into my lip, so I back off and say, “Ow! She bit me!”

With out missing a beat, literally and figuratively, Rhonda says, “Well, you’re not supposed to slip her the tongue.”

We killed them ... and Resci-Annie.
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