Posted On: Monday - August 17th 2020 8:00PM MST
In Topics:   Curmudgeonry  Kung Flu Stupidity
This post could also be called "Elevator Etiquette in the age of the Kung Flu", but we've already got a name for this series, so ... continuing from Part 9...
We can barely go a week here at Peak Stupidity without running into some Kung Flu stupidity that results in a blog post. After I thought about this one, I talked to a guy about his mask, and got so infuriated at his answer ... see, now that's another post.
In the elevators of hotels now there are signs of various sorts to help us prevent ourselves from spreading this Black Plague 2.0 that has our matriarchal society in hysterics. The signs are on the doors on all floors, and the stickers are on the elevator floors too.
Stay 6 ft. apart, it told me. Yeah, but the elevator was only about 5 ft across. OK, with a 4 ft. depth though, lets plug into Pythagorus' theory. Yeah, in my head it works out, but then do our mouths have to be 6 ft. apart? I think these stickers need to be more specific, so let's get the contagion engineers on the blower, get specs for these new stickers ...
I wasn't wearing a mask at all, as I went downstairs to work out. I didn't expect anyone else to get on, but a 55-60 y/o guy with a face mask on got on at a lower floor. He had nothing to say. I guess that's the normal elevator etiquette, where you look down or up. I gathered that it wasn't the normal elevator etiquette for the masked man to face the corner though. I'd never seen this one before. He really was worried shitless.
Now, that is his business after all, and maybe he really does have something to worry about. I could have put the balled-up mask in my pocket on, but I was just disgusted by the whole scene. Or, that guy could have noticed me in there first, and if he was so concerned, taken the stairs down to get a little bit of exercise - he looked able enough.
After that Precor 842i bike machine kicked my ass, I was still breathing a little heavy*, so breathing in my own breath and snot off a mask on the way up was out of the question. Luckily, it was just me. We need to sort ourselves out into panickers and non-panickers. The masks or lack thereof, ought to be the "flag", as with shirts and skins in tag football. Too bad there are "emergency" orders that interfere with this arrangement.
Oh, I almost forgot. The guy on the elevator could see that I'd already pressed the button for floor 1, the lobby. It was lit up, and hell, where would I be going anyway? Yet, he did that thing where you press the button anyway, even though it was lit up. That is BAD elevator etiquette even in normal times, as, well, you're not going to speed it up, and it's as if to tell the other riders they didn't do it right. It just seems stupid. In this Summer of the re-Panic though, it was even worse, as the guy used the tip of his finger, as in normal times.
Doesn't he know that these Kung Flu germies can cling onto those elevator buttons like the last Vietnamese guy off the roof of the US Embassy in Saigon clung to the Huey skids in 1975? You use your knuckles now, you knuckleheads. Knuckles are the new fingertips. This is all great for burglars and bank robbers, between the masks, and now, look
* Yeah, I did spend extra time wiping off the machine. I was just glad I didn't have to sneak in - the key card doesn't always work.