"Goin' Green" with 2-strokes and dualies

Posted On: Wednesday - November 6th 2019 3:33PM MST
In Topics: 
  Treehuggers  Curmudgeonry  Environmental Stupidity

I'd have attached the Peak Stupidity Roadshow (formerly "Traffic Stupidity") topic key here too, but that part wasn't too bad. It was just the usual driver that waits for 5 seconds, I suppose for his eye accommodation*, then decides, "yeah, I guess I got time" and pulls into my lane. This guy could have gone into the 2nd lane and not gotten in my way at all, but I'll give him credit for knowing I was closing in and gunning it.

That was just it, though. It was a large pick-up with labels somewhat like the truck pictured above, "Green-Pros", "Go green", or some such thing. I could hear that engine roar as the big V-8 pulled that truck with it's dualies (4 wheels on the back axle, like on a semi), temporarily making 5 mpg. I imagined it blowing out smoke too, but I won't exaggerate just for the post. OK, it was probably a hard-working landscaping guy with his 2 or 3 Mexicans. They probably had lots of equipment in the truck too. I don't have a problem with all that - good on them for the hard work.

It's the hypocrisy of this constant "green" this and "green" that everywhere that irks me. You may tell me that the "green" is in reference to the yards these guys work on. Nah, but then, why the crap like "the responsible way to a green lawn"? I know the answer though. These guys themselves aren't really hypocrites (I doubt they really keep track of the science of Climatology, for example). They just know that this sort of silliness is good for business. It won't be every customer that falls for this green crap. Maybe 1 in 5 women though, that hire these guys to run 3 high-revving** loud-ass 2-cycle engines burning gas AND oil, will FEEL BETTER that this particular company is as green as her lawn. At least the truck is bright green. This is the mindset we're dealing with: "So what that these guys charge $20 more a month than Joe's did? What's 20 dollars compared to saving the whole planet?! Joe's has a couple of older rusty brown trucks and his black & white paper flyers don't even MENTION the planet. Joe, HOW DARE YOU?!"

Oh, and if you're REALLY GREEN (raise your hand if you mean it), you'd pick up a damn rake rather than running the leaf blower and waking up the neighbors at 7 AM. I myself, no, I'm NOT that treehugger. I raked for years, and then quit one day cold turkey, and got a small electric blower. Greta, I am so, so sorrry!!

* I theorize that it's the small screens of the phones and tablets, held 8" to 16" from our eyeballs, that are causing lots of people, even the young, to not be able to focus at the distance and quickly.

** Yeah, it's not just the volume but the pitch. A medium volume-level edger to me sounds more annoying than a the big loud diesel and hydraulic pump on the cherry picker.

Friday - November 8th 2019 10:02AM MST
PS: OK, then, as some sort of Duke under this regime of yours, I'm probably gonna need a special waiver to have my knights use the blowers to blow the leaves off my hunting grounds. Or, I can get a bunch of serfs with rakes, if you're that adamant about it.
Thursday - November 7th 2019 7:45AM MST
PS: If elected King my first decree would be to ban leaf blowers. Nothing more annoying.
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