I should have named him after a man of the cloth

Posted On: Tuesday - January 10th 2017 7:26PM MST
In Topics: 
  Music  Humor  Curmudgeonry

If you're a parent of any young kid these days you may have noticed the new naming conventions, maybe even in your own kid. I don't know if the moms get this stuff from just one book or TV show, like some of the pop-psycho stuff like "you're not a bad kid - you're just making the wrong choices."* Anyhoo, if you haven't been paying attention since the days of all the Joshuas, Jeremies, Jasons, Justins, and Jonas, the new thing is last-name first names.

Connor, Tanner, Tyler (man, that Fight Club just didn't make any damn sense to me), and a whole host of other last names are the new first names for boys. Girls are getting some of this treatment also. OK, it does beat being named by Johnny Cash's dad, but it's getting annoying to us at PeakStupidity. I think the idea is that these kids sound sophisticated, I dunno - it's to the point where any last name will do now. A Chinese mom figured she'd better fit in and made her born-in-China boy's name "Benson". Hey, lady, he's already got his last name first as is the Chinese way - you don't need to go searching through old sit-coms. However, I don't believe this old country of ours will be around to see a President named Tanner - just as well, really.

In that light, I guess we could all go to the courthouse if we had to on this, but I've recently wished we'd named our boy after a man of the cloth - called him Amos Moses.

I think it would have slipped by the wife, as she's not a Jerry Reed fan, far's I know - RIP:

* My kid accidentally knocked the snot out of another kid with his foot as he was climbing over a railing and his friend was too close by. I don't mean figuratively "knocked the snot out of", but literally, which, in this case, is a lot less violent than figuratively - the other kid's snot moved over from his nose to the other side of his face, that's all.

They were both little ones, so it wasn't any big deal. The mom was already telling the other kid some crap about "making the wrong choices" - man, lady, the kid's literally (haha) two years old. I couldn't help myself "no, he just needs to keep his face out of the way of other kids' feet when they're moving is all". You don't need any DVD's of Oprah or Dr. Phil to figure this out.

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