Posted On: Saturday - April 27th 2019 6:07PM MST
In Topics:   General Stupidity  Music  Humor
"Hey, which way to OFF Broadway? "I dunno, Pal."
"OK, it's just that we've got to go see a play. What time is it, please?"
"I don't know! I'm not from around here, buddy."
I've been to the professional baseball games. I've been through the Museum of Natural History in New York City (got on an express train north, had to switch back to a southbound local. See I'm not some hick - I know my stuff.) I've been on Broadway. I've seen some shows, what we in the sticks call "plays", that is. It seems like Broadway shows used to be musicals with Liza Minelli or Bette MIdler, shows with dancing girls showing off their legs, show with naked people as in "Oh, Calcutta", the classics by Bill Shakespeare and that crowd, etc ... Now, there's a show about the some bankers, the Lehman Brothers? Really? I know NYC is the financial center, so I guess you'll get that Hedge Fund crowd (How they get so rich just investing in plant nurseries I'll NEVER know!)
Seriously, New York City, you want us to come all the way over there, stay at a friend's
That's not what this post was supposed to be about. Look, I'm just tired of not just the New York City residents telling us their home is something special, but worse, the apologists for our own home towns who feel they must bad-mouth them in order to fit in with the elites.
To address the former, I'll say this: You tell me you've got professional sports teams, the orchestra, the ballet, a bunch of museums... How often do you go to these places? Isn't it just when people visit that you go to these places with them, for the most part? Would it not be cheaper for us to go there for 3 days, do all that, and return home to where property tax is low, and you can get around town without much traffic and harrasment by squeegie men?
As for the latter, this is what I've seen from people I've known: They've got a visitor from NY City, or another big city. As we drive from picking him up at the airport, the friend has just got to badmouth our town. "Ahh, this place is a dump. There's not even a good Ethiopian Restaurant. The last play here was the High School's senior class play. It'd ridiculous here ... blah, blah..." One of these friends really did move to NY City and has been there ever since, so I give him credit for putting his money where his mouth is. Others are the ones I wonder about - if it's so terrible here, get out. Go ahead, bite the BIG Apple - don't mind the maggots! I've been shattered, shattered, scattered all over Manhattan ....*
Peak Stupidity is not big on the Jazz, but this one has been a favorite. It's George Benson - On Broadway off of his 1978 live album Weekend in LA:
* That's Mick Jagger and the Stones. The lyric is from Shattered off of the Some Girls album.