Sign up for Peak Stupidity Alerts


Posted On: Thursday - April 18th 2019 7:48PM MST
In Topics: 
  Music  Humor  Trump  Curmudgeonry  Artificial Stupidity

BZZZZZZZZ!

ALERT! ALERT! INCOMING STUPIDITY!




I've about had it with any kind of unwanted information making its way onto the human interface* of my piece of iEspionage, excuse me, "Smart" phone! The sound is hellacious, and probably has been developed specifically to increase sales, as it causes one in 100 pieces of hardware to be thrown out the damn car window per alert. If I'm trying to use the phone, to make, like, a PHONE CALL or something, you're just confusing the hell of of things.

Listen, whomever, I don't want to hear about flash floods, I'm up high. I don't want to hear about tornadoes, as I know what a freight train sounds like ... now, if it's actually a freight train, that could be a problem... I don't want to hear about volcanoes, as I don't know where I'm agonna go, anyway**.

I don't care if Ivanka Trump has just been kidnapped and is being held in a Chinese designer underwear plant in an undisclosed location in Manchuria for 500 BILLION YUAN (no, dollar, qǐng!)***, I don't want to hear about it in the middle of a game of Tetris! Leave me alone, governments!


* If one could call it that, as fucked up as it's been getting.


** Now I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know where I'm a gonna go
when the volcano blow.




(It's the title song from the album Volcano from the summer of 1979.)

I don't know ... if the Parrotheads have hung with Peak Stupidity during our 2-year hiatus of Jimmy Buffett music. It's been since the post called I don't think I'm gonna ever let him cut on me.. How can something like this even happen?!




*** "qǐng" is "please" and really, we would be better off without the entire Javanka crowd "in house" for a decade or so, at least.

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