Customer Service, I mean "Care"


Posted On: Wednesday - November 1st 2017 9:43AM MST
In Topics: 
  Humor  Curmudgeonry

First rule of the Curmudgeon Club:

You do not talk about how stupid it is that some of these modern movies don't make any damn sense unless you watch them 2 or 3 times, and I'm not gonna pay 10 damn dollars to get in and 5 more for a bucket of popcorn with only 1/2 of the grease and salt that you used to get ... and, wait. That's Fight Club - "You do not talk about how hard the movies sucks!"

2nd rule of Fight Club Curmudeonry:

You CANNOT go wrong writing something about customer service, which is called Customer Care now, to feminize it to match with society.

Anyway, yes, you, as a curmudgeon, could have written a post criticizing bad customer service even in the 1950's, most likely . "The lady at the hula hoop store took 4 rings to answer the phone! She seemed kind of short with me too, and only talked with me for 5 minutes. Sarah, get me another hula hoop store on the blower, please, Ma'am. Thank you, Sarah... yeah you can hang up now."

Yes, I guess they had their problems back in the day, but this morning it was a call to the mobile phone company. Mashing 0's until the noise stopped worked pretty well, I will admit. I was first able to first talk to Alice in the Philippines. She did not answer my first question which was just "is that really your given name?" due to the language barrier. Although helpful enough, she wasn't able to help me switch plans, so she switched me back to the US ("Sarah, plug me back into Mt. Pilot, please, thanks Sarah.") to ...

... a pretty chipper black lady in the US. I didn't appreciate the folksy tone really, as it was just fake. Maybe it helped here out with some customers though, but not for me; this was business. It was not as big a feat as I thought to get her to say "ask", not "axe", so that was a pleasant surprise. I have seen lately, that for a black person to say "ask" correctly, is just too damn much to axe of him. Apparently it is the white man's way, and must be never uttered unless in real Dire Straits, such as in front of the judge during a sentencing hearing. Anyhow, we both got through it, and it turned out she couldn't really help me, so she switched me to ...

... an Eastern European young lady who couldn't understand English so well. I gave her my name, then the account number. Then she asked for my name. "It's the same one I just told you. It hasn't changed since I last said it" "OK, James ..." "No, not James." She heard changed as "James", so I guess my last name was "Since". Why come I don't have a tatoo, then?



OK, if it hasn't appeared already before, that is the best Idiocracy (Mike Judge movie) scene, and I can see lots of opportunities to plug that in in the future too.

Because the protagonist, who was a man of exactly average intelligence in 2005, ended up in the year 2505, he is so smart as to be diagnosed as a retard by the doctor you see. The Doc is very reassuring though:

"Don't worry, scro, there's lots of 'tards out there living pretty kick-ass lives. My ex-wife... retarded. She's a pilot now."

Oh yeah, back to the story, I just said goodbye to the E-Euro girl after realizing we weren't going to be able to communicate enough to help me at all. I do wonder whether that cell company is coming out ahead in the long run by the outsourcing and insourcing. They may have lost a long-term customer, not due to this particular episode, really, but just due to the lack of a solution for better plan.

Now, they keep trying to call me back for some reason, but here I am, busy blogging ....

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